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I appreciate that you had the courage to write your story. I have struggled all my life being a daughter of a sociopath killer (she wasn’t convicted on grounds of self-defense) and a man who ended up dying with his name on a list for convicted child molesters. To this day it is a struggle for me to believe that I am worthy of being loved. Your book helps me to remind myself that I am not the “sick” one. Thank you
I am actually scared to read this memoir. I feel connected so I must read. My father was a principal and work security at Disneyland. However he had a darkside. Only my sister and I knew (I believe). My sister and I only spoke briefly as adults about the sexual abuse. I never have been able to emotionally connect my daddy to my father the molester. He felt like two seperate people. I still live with the guilt. I am getting the book ordered now…..
Thank you for telling your story ==
I want to obtain your book and was wondering just where I can buy it?
I live in Canada and hope it is available here as well.
I saw you on both Dr.Phil and Oprah. You are a very brave woman to be on their shows and having written your book.
I am glad that you are healing — may you continue to do so.
What a lot of courage it took to write this book.
I think I was almost a victom of your father. When I saw his picture on Opra i thought he looked so much like a man who tried to force me into his vehicle near auburn washington not even knowing what his pic was on tv for. then i listened to the rest of the story and realized how lucky i am to be here, and now i have to get over this feeling of shock.
Dear Melissa Moore,
I just happened to see your appearance with Dr. Phil on the Oprah Winfrey Show today and was impressed with all you had to share. I was also impressed with the love and care you extended to others. It was apparent that you have great love for your mother and it was also apparent that you have compassion and care for the lady known as Dawn.
I went to your site and read you comments on abuse and agree with you( I actually tried to leave my comments on that site but my computer wouldn’t work me on that so fortunately I found this site). Professionally I was a program coordinator and legal advocate for a domestic violence agency and I found your comments to be head-on.
Personally,having been the survivor of abuse, I know that the choices we make are ours regardless of what others may do to us.
I feel impressed to tell you that you have certainly chosen wisely with your life. Through great adversity you have chosen to go forth and assist others by relating your story.It is also by example that we learn, and your example is one of compassion, love and caring for others. I feel, because of your life experiences, that you have great empathy and compassion for others.
You have much to say of value to the public in regards to your life and views. I am exceedingly glad that you came forward at this time to relate your story to us and to educate others about abuse and our own choices in relation to it.
There have been pioneers all along life’s highway – I am not sure why you were chosen to be a pioneer in this area but am thankful that you are and that you have the strength of character to go forth and do this necessary work.
May our Heavenly Father bless you in your endeavors and may your family be blest always,
Oh and PS I really look forward to reading your book
I first heard about your journey when I saw you on the Dr. Phil retreat working on tough issues.
My hear went out to all of the brave guests who joined you in that retreat, however, I felt a deep connection with you that reached so far down inside my soul.
As you worked with Dr. Phil, I knew what you were feeling before I heard you say it, I felt your pain, been there, did that.
My father was not a serial killer, he is a pedophile.
My mother did not have the skills, or strength to keep her children safe. I too was, and still am humiliated.
My whole life, I grew up thinking, 50% of the blood flowing through my veins, is toxic and evil.
It was not until I was an adult with children of my own, that I was told that when my mother married my father, it was him who was a minor. So 100% of the blood in my veins is pure evil. So some days, I wonder, what does that make me? I have a difficult time even facing my children (2 adult boys).
I felt compelled to contact you to tell you that I feel your pain, and that I believe you are a very brave, compassionate, soul. Your children are blessed to have you for their mom.
I was so happy to see how far you have come when I saw you interviewed on Oprah today. It warmed my heart to see you smile, and feel your compassion.
My best to you my dear, as you continue on your journey.
Please feel free to contact me any time.
Melissa, you are not alone in your experience. No one talks about it because they fear being judged. As a child of a parent that is a sociopath, you grow up looking for the “good” side of everyone. For most of my life, I found myself tolerating the “bad” part of people because I was sure that the “good” side would show up. I had no idea that I was recreating my childhood experience with my father. I am 67 years old now and I created a good life with my husband and four children. I have 8 grandchildren and everything is good.
Please do not think that you are unusual, you are only unusual in that you have publicly admitted to what happened to you. My father was a monster who never got caught. He died in his nineties and I did not have anything to do with him for the last 15 years of his life. I wish the best for you and your family.
Dear Melissa Just finished your riveting honest book.
I am in awe of your courage and honesty to write and share
you life with all. I am in awe of reinventing you life
and coping skills as you grew up in such a courageous way.
May God always hold you and yours ” in the palm of his hand”.
Thank you ever so much Lea
Thank you for sharing, and I’m passing your comments on to Melissa. I believe this is a story that will affect many people’s lives to know that you are not alone… to know that you never have been… and to know that there is great hope and healing on the other side. I am proud of you for your courage to speak up now, and to support Melissa on her journey.
God bless you, and much love and light to you.
Thanks, Jeannette! Yes, you can order this on Amazon.ca. I just checked and it’s available! Thank you for your desire to read this and your loving words.
Thank you, Liz. Yes it took a lot of courage on the part of Melissa to go through this and be able to share such intimate details of her life. And, honestly, it took a lot of courage for me as well. This was and still is not an easy topic, obviously, but I felt like I had a lot of assistance, both seen and unseen. There were many hours spent in tears for both of us, as we illustrated through words what it was like for her to go through these horrendous ordeals — as well as the joy and triumph on the other side. Thank you for caring enough to comment, and thank you for your wonderful son!! He did a marvelous job on my website(s) as he always does. Tony is a GREAT blessing in my life.
Hello, Jody. We are glad you are alive and well, though shaken. It was not generally his modus operandi to force anyone into his vehicle. He usually had no troubles picking up women, unfortunately, for he was very smooth and seemed respectable. It was not usually until they angered him that he committed his heinous crimes. Help spread the word to always be aware of your surroundings, to never get a ride with a stranger, and to listen to your promptings and when you feel unsafe — get the heck out of there! Many blessings on your journey of healing, and again, we’re glad that you are alive and well. Take care.
Thank you, Gwen — and thanks for not giving up when you couldn’t post to her site. I’ve passed this message along to her.
Thank you, Judy — for your openness, honesty and willingness to share this with us. We are finding more stories like this, and I feel that it is so important what Melissa and others like you are doing. Shattering the silence will promote more openness between people, more tolerance between people who have suffered and much less judgment. I also believe it may assist others to make different choices if others are not so willing to be silent about what they are doing. I am so glad to see that you have created a beautiful life for yourself and your family. God bless.
Where can I find the list of stores you guys will be ?
I can’t wait to read the book~
love and light
WOW! What an incredibly inspiring story, I couldn’t put it down. It is such an inspiring story about the power of the human spirit to overcome any challenges. We are NEVER alone, and are always given messages and clues to guide us on our individual paths. Thank you Melissa and Bridget for having the courage to share your story. It has touched my life and given me the courage to live my dreams. No matter my past, the present and the future are where my choices have their power. May you continue to be blessed on your journey with your beautiful husband and children!! Know that you are making a profound difference in so many peoples lives, including mine!! Thank you!!
My husband and I was at The Orem costco on the 2nd of OCT. while you guys were there signing books… It caught my husbands eye because i like mystery books about people being kidnapped and such so we stopped and were first talking to Bridgete about it. We decided to get a copy… so i bring it home and i started reading it that night. At first while i was reading it i didnt think much of it other than this guy is creepy… ex. (when Keith hung the kittens on the clothesline.) and just keep reading it. and then again when he pours gasoline over the kittens.. I then began to think about it and how this is actually a true story. Then i started thinking about my life and reflect back on somethings that have happened to me (Dont feel comfortable sharing them where anyone can see) and how this happens every day and the book got me intreged reading more and more everyday about the horrible things that you have to go through… i was teribly saddened that this actually happens to people on a weekly or even daily basis around the world. I tried thinking of ways that i maybe could make a difference in somebodies life that maybe is going through this. I know that you (Melissa and Bridgette) are probably very busy but i was wondering if you know of any web sites i could go to, too try and figure out maybe ways of helping people like like melissa that this happens too… well i appriciate you melissa for comeing out of your shell and writing this book… it have really inspired me… and Bridgette for helping her write this book that i am sure has and will inspire several people to come…
Just so you know, Lisa, there is another book signing at Barnes & Noble Layton this Saturday from 4pm to 7pm. Melissa will not be there, but I will. She’s flying to New York to film Good Morning America, which is supposed to be shown on Friday morning, October 16.
I just finished reading you book and it was wonderful!
I was looking for an uplifting book to get past some of the pain in my life.
Your incredible story helped me realize my life and turmoils are nothing compared to what you lived through
You inspired me also to keep a journal and Im so happy you have a nice family and can move forward.
Thanks again for sharing your story with all of us!
It was a pleasure to meet you in Orem! About your question, one thing I know is that there are always shelters for abused women and children that can use volunteers and donations. Domestic violence, abuse and neglect are far more prevalent than most of us like to think, but the power of one person — like Melissa, like YOU, can be incredible! Your ripple of love and hope could be exactly what helps one mother or child to keep going through their most difficult moments. One person can be that miracle. Thank you, Kelsie, for your incredible heart. May you be blessed a thousand times over for it.
I just had to leave you a note to congratulate you on making this much of your life’s journey so successful. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through growing up with the knowledge that you have a murderous father. I’m so glad to see that you’ve learned that what he did has nothing to do with what or who you are. I wasn’t quite so successful in my own life. I can understand your struggle somewhat because all my life I’ve felt less than others because of my abusive alcoholic father. My home was like a battleground. I’m almost 70 and I allowed my father’s actions to taint my whole life. I wasn’t able to separate his actions from who I was. I always thought everything was somehow my fault, especially as a child. My marriage failed after 35 years, my grown only son is estranged from me, and has stopped allowing me to see or talk to my two beautiful little granddaughters. I grieve for them constantly. I have ended up alone. I know this has to be my fault. I can’t blame my father for how I handled my life. I always was the one to be the caretaker of others and I always put others first. I didn’t think I deserved good things. My life had been my responsibility, and I can’t help but think that I might have dealt better with the men in my life if I had known more about healthy relationships. However, I had the same options that you had, but I just wasn’t very successful. You had the courage and tenacity to become your own person. I admire you more than I can say. Thank you for sharing your story and your bravery with us. You have already helped so many people through your attitude, your sensitivity and your faith in yourself. God bless you, Melissa, and God bless your precious children.
I just finished your book. It was one of those things that most people would dismiss as a coincidence, but that I know wasn’t. I don’t believe in coincidence, everything happens for a reason. And when I read your book I nodded to myself several times, even shed a few tears, tears of a strange sense of camaraderie. We always think we are the only ones that can sense someone’s’ anger, no one needs to tell us how they feel because we already know, without a word being exchanged, no confirmation is needed. I never knew why I blamed myself for the anger, I just did. I couldn’t understand why my perfect little doll face couldn’t make it all better. Raised in Catholic school, all I knew for sure was that they wouldn’t let me ever come to the altar, to receive the body of Christ, and that guilt and sin were my destiny, something I just had to accept. I turned to drugs and alcohol, that was my choice at the time, that was over a decade and a half ago. The last six years I have been sober, and like you I made a decision that I didn’t have to hate myself for the things I did. That God’s forgiveness was enough. Who was I to withhold forgiveness of myself, when God himself had already granted it, died for it in fact. Who was I to deny myself love, acceptance and healing? I didn’t understand why I had to destroy everything good that came into my life? I have concluded that God had to take everything from me, in order for me to appreciate, and seem the good in life, the light in life, that had never shined on me before. I decided to take the years of journaling I had kept up, along with research and my memories, poems, the story of my life. I knew from my education, degree in Psychology, work history of counseling disturbed youth, fellow drug addicts, and other people in a variety of institutions. And then my story, my climb back to sanity that runs concurrently with my achievements. I lived a life of delicious duality. No one knew that I was a savior and a killer in one pretty piece of packaging. But the only person I wanted to kill, the only person I ever tried to kill was me. I tried and tried, with a determination that bordered on obsessive. I can count at least nine times, where I either died or should have died, but every time, something happened to thwart my plans. Something I never knew was God showing me where my will ends and His begins. He had no intention of letting me force my will on something that is out of my control. He wasn’t about to let me take the easy way out. I thought I would call the book, The Nine Lives of Cat. The book is finished. I have submitted queries for different agencies, but nothing but rejections, one after another. Sometimes I question myself, “If God wanted me to write this book, why can’t I get any agent to take me on? Have I been doing the wrong thing, all this time?”. If this is not what’s meant for me, how do I give up a dream, accept that it’s not going to happen unless it’s what God wants for me and let it go? Maybe I just think I know all this stuff that can make a difference, and I really don’t and God’s trying to spare me the embarrassment of putting something out there that is very personal and none too flattering of myself and my family. I just don’t know anymore. I am an artist as well, I make and decorate crosses out of antique Louisiana Cypress, and I adorn them with antique hardware, keys, crosses, charms. But I am not really successful at that either. I don’t know why I wrote to you but I applaud you for your honesty and positive outlook, it does make a difference. It did to me, anyway.
I wish you well, thank you for sharing your story, Catherine Womack
Thank you for your courage in sharing your experiences and insights with the world. I have just finished reading Shattered Silence and found it both difficult and uplifting. I am a Social Worker specializing in helping abuse survivors overcome their traumas. I am also a domestic violence counselor and have finally found “a second witness” to what I have been helping those vicitms understand in order to become thriving survivors. I plan on reading excerpts from the last three or four chapters of your book to my groups in hopes that they will recieve hope and inspiration for themselves.
Again, thank you for your courage, insight, and inspiration.
What a great book!!! I only have one word… WOW!!! I am a victim of sexual abuse myself and I am in awe at how much strength and courage you have. It just reminds me that I am strong too!! Thank you for sharing your expeiences to make others stronger. God bless you and your family always.
Your book was amazing. I could not put it down. I did not know much about your father and his crimes until a friend recommended your book. Washington is my home state and much of your history occurred in cities I am familiar with. It is haunting to know that you and your siblings were enduring this nightmare at the same time I was growing up with minor worries, trials & tribulations compared to your situation. My heart broke for you and your brother and sister all the way through your book … from the very first pages until the happy ending. While of course I don’t know you, I couldn’t be more proud of you as a child, teenager and now adult woman. You are so smart and were so smart even as a young child. You have so much to be proud of … look what you have accomplished and how many thousands of people this book and your story will help. God bless you and your family. Sophia
i seen the show with oprha an phil years ago they found a body on the side of the highway in a box in mo i think on hwy 70 not totally sure could your father have been the killer ?? might bring some closer to there family
How can I order this book to be shipped to Canada?
In the first place I would like to tell you that I’m not a good in English but I’ll try my best to make you understand what I want to tell you.
I’m a brasilian, live in Brasil, and I was watching The Oprah Winfrey Show last night.
What I want to tell you is: Don’t give up about your father’s life change.
What is impossible for people, is possible for God. The doctor, I forgave his name, told you that your father will never change. He is wrong, if God’s want to change somebody He will.
If you believe in God, please, read Luke 8.36 to 39.
It’s a story about a men who had many demons and he was cured.
If I were you I would look for an pastor to visit your father and pray for him, read the bible for him. Make sure you are talking to an real pastor, a men of God and you’ll see your father’s salvation.
There’s nothing that God cannot do for You. Thrust in God and be saved, you and your family. Athos 16.31 and 2.21 says: cry out to God and be saved, you and you family.
I would say many things to you but I don’t tink you have time to read.
Edna Mayo Perpetuo
hello melissa….it’s been an honour 4 me 2 know ur story ,,,,,i learned alot,,,my modest advice 4 u about ur father is that u must stray ur kids away from him cuz they need &deserve 2 live abetter live than the 1 u lived&4 u naturally&instinctally 1 day may be if u feel that u miss ur father go on & see him aALONE or u don’t will be batter chance 4 u 2 heal ur un forgetable pains//////take care of ur mother under the name of kinship////////cope with ur life/////////open up ur pretty blue eyes &look into ur kid’s they r ur dreams ”’ faith””’strainght every thing………..thanks alot i do respect u [with all love &pleasure][omnia el ganbihy]
I have to say what good job you have done with this book. I have to admit that I am only on page 64 but you wrote it so well you must be commended. I love how descriptive and easy to read it is. I was leary to pick it up because I was not sure what I would find but I am pleasantly surprised with its contents thus far. I just opened it a few hours ago and can not wait to get back to it. Congratulations and best wishes.
Hi. I was wondering if this book has been published in Norwegian? If not, will it be?
Wow! I’m from Australia and have just seen you on Oprah. I want to send you big hugs because you have been so incredibly brave sharing your experiences growing up with a sociopath. I also grew up feeling very confused about bad vibes I was getting from my Dad and no-one else acknowledging this. I too felt so much connection to exactly what you were saying and your vibes about your Dad. My Dad is a serial paedophile and although I was not abused (as far as I know), your description of others secrecy in the handling of the painful truth was exactly the same as my reality of childhood. My loneliness of the experience and my mothers reaction was so similar to yours. I have never heard anyone elses story that was like mine so thank-you soooo much. You seem like a gorgeous person and always remember that we are our own individuals and are totally living a spirit-filled life. My theory is that evil exists and unfortunately sometimes it can be right under our noses. The important thing is that we can recognise it, flee away from it and live positive safe lives and even more importantly we are keeping our children safe. I do not have any contact at all with him as I believe that he has no regrets and he is dangerously evil. Anyway, love you even though I haven’t met you and wish you a beautiful life and much happiness. Your a legend.
I just managed to see you with Dr. Phil on the Oprah Winfrey Show today, unfortunately I only caught the last half – Australia takes a while to catch up with the USA! I was so impressed with your decision to ‘speak out in public’, ironically, I have been a victim of child molestation and your comments regarding the way you felt/the way you thought as a child and now as an adult, and a mother, are so similar to mine. I was genuinally interested to hear your story as it helped me align my own feelings of how, as dydfunctional as our families were/are, we are quite normal for what has happened to us in the past
Congratulations! The truth will set you free!
By the way, I ordered/paid for a copy of your book however, the postage may not be enough as there was no ability to specify my country/state/suburb etc. Please advise the difference and I will send this amount via PayPal in keeping with the original transaction.
Absolutely Amazing! As I read Shattered Silence, I really took a look at my own life. I realized that I am not my parents – I AM ME!!!
I’m Fariz Nurhuda from Indonesia and have just seen you on Oprah today 09,04,2010, i have no words to say anything,the father is a father, how is he an evil man in the world, he is still your father, iam hope your not let your communication is closed with him and for the better you give him spirit to forget the past, and bring to your father a prayer and hoping god will forgive him,i believe only god who can help us if we realize and promised never do it again
First off you are an amazing women to be able to share this story with the world. I just recently found out that my aunt,(married into our family) is your dads cousin. Just this past christmas the topic came up and she told me the date of the Oprah show and I was able to catch it. It was so shocking to find this out after 20 + years, I cant even imagine what it was like for you. You are an inspiration to show people that life does go on and just because there is a bad seed doesnt mean it carries on. Thanks for sharing your story!
First off I just want to say I am sorry for the pain you had to endure. I can only hope that you are able to put things behind you. From what I can see you are a strong person, you are beatiful and you have a beatiful new family who needs you.You are not a refection of your father and now your life is what you make it.I have not read the book yet, however I plan to. I always heard of your father and I feel partly connected with you due to the fact that my own brother spent time in prison with your dad.(murder)I did find you on facebook added you as a friend , I am hoping we can chat.God be with you and bless you and your family keep your head held high and be proud of who you are.Robin Rice
After seeing you on Oprah I ordered your book. There were two topics that I wanted to hear more about -
The process you went through to decide to break off contact with your dad and more about your peace with this decision.
And the information you researched that helped you to decide that you didn’t have to worry about your children inheriting their grandfather’s mental condition.
Will you be writing more about these?
Hi…. I would just like to say u r such a brave fantastic women… I am 23 and my dad is in jail for killing several people… I feel like he is a part of me but after seeing your story I need to believe he is not the person I am today… I feel sad that I hide my past from my friends but I just feel so ashamed to tell them the truth..: I feel lucky to be here today..:.
Dear Melissa, I am proud of you for telling your story! As a survivor of a terrible childhood I know “why” you needed to tell your story. I too have wanted to tell “my story” so that others would possibly be able to realize & understand that “you can choose the highway of your life”. That you don’t have to become what your parents are or were. That you can have a wonderful fulfilling & happy life. I wish that I could find out how to write my story, maybe sometime I will. Thanks! God Bless
You are an amazing woman to have gone through all these things and come out of the situation as a stronger person. So many of us, including myself, get wound up about all the little problems in life, but after reading your story it makes me realize even more that life goes on and it’s how you choose to handle the situations that are handed to you.
There were a few things that caught me off guard in the book. The title made me aware of your dad being a serial killer, but what I didn’t expect was Sean or Robert. Before I reached the ending I was wondering to myself where is Sean now? Someone who is so cruel to have done all those things to you, it just made me wonder who he was hurting now? So I am so glad you put the recent information in about Sean. As for Robert??? He still seems dangerous to me. Some people can change, but changing the core of who they are is not something done easily. You’re mom is very fortunate to have you and your other siblings.
You’re strength to get through what you have is an awesome ability that is a light of hope for others.
well i want to say i read your book from a friend at school im 14 years old and i love your book.. your story inspires me.. one day i want to tell everything about me.. evrything that happened.. its all coming out in pieces to different people but its coming.. i wanted to share with you after i read this book it felt like god was there.. thank you so much for giving me that chance!
i read your book and i cannot tell you how many times i cried!! just from reading all you went through broke my heart!! you are such a strong women! i have heard stories of the “happy face” serial killer. but finding out it was your dad and how young you were to have to go through that. . i have a lot of respect for you and your family. you all are such wonderful people! i absolutely loved your book and i just want to read it again and again! thank you so much for publishing it and letting others know of your story! your book is put at the top of my list! one of my favorites (: thank you again for your publishing!
I just watched your story on The Devil you know and was shocked and sickend by what you lived through while growing up. I am amazed at your courage to come forward with your story and how you have been able to survive and move on with your life. Your story will resonate with me for a very long time and I am sorry you went through that. Your strength is infectious and you have made a positive out of a negative by helping others through your story. Best of luck with your book and know you are your own person and not responsible for other peoples actions. Your are an Angel to so many. Bless you and your family.
- A, BC Canada
I just turned 17 and just finished your books.
My mother, a psychologist, mentioned this book to me.
We both think you are so brave and it’s really a miracle that you have been able to come out of this with such knowledge. You are the only person who has been able to tell this story. To me I have always wondered, what does happen to the second generation of stories like these?
You were the only one in the world who could’ve told your story, and you did an incredible job.
Such an inspiration!
Dear Melissa, I just finished your book after reading your dads book. Oh my I can’t believe what you went through. I wanted to hug you so many time during the book. I hated the fact you had to live in that horrible basement on an army cot. I became very angry at your mother for putting you through that. Not only did you have to deal with your dads sisuation you hadn’t anyone to turn to. She should have been the one to make it all better. Robert was such a jurk I hate him why did your mom keep putting you through his abuse? You are an amazing women and I am so happy that you have a wonderful family now that love you. I’m sorry you where never loved as a child. Thank God you made it through! God Bless you and your family.
Hi Melissa – I watched you on an old Dr Phil Show sharing with Nick. I was impressed by your confidence and came by here to look for your book. I am based in India and have a blog that has quite a wide readership. I would love to feature your book on my blog and interview you if I may. I do believe your message is relevant to so many young people who become victims because their parents/relative commit some horrible crime/s.
You are very brave and the work you are doing through this book and other media appearances is very powerful.
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